BrainLine Military

A Service of

Turn off text only

Page Utilities

We Can't Socialize Anymore

Comments [1]

We Can't Socialize Anymore

Bryan and Cheryl Gansner

We used to have parties with soldiers all the time and we went out more before he got blown up. But not anymore.

I have been feeling some sadness since Saturday night. We were invited to a get together with our friends, and all of their friends, at their house. I was really looking forward to it and Bryan said he would come along. The problem is that our friends had a lot of friends there and it was just too overwhelming for Bryan. I am so thankful that he tried going but part of me feels so sad that he just can’t handle it.

We started out in the kitchen and someone we had never met was talking to us, asking what we do, etc. Bryan could barely focus on what he was saying and he left the guy hanging a few times on his questions. Finally, we just ended the conversation and moved on. I started talking to my friend and her friends and felt so guilty leaving Bryan in the kitchen alone and overwhelmed. I excused myself and I asked if he was feeling overwhelmed. Of course he said "yes" so we moved to a less crowded area.

Then he completely zoned out. His eyes glazed over, he tuned everything out and sat there, lifeless. He focused on the football game on TV that was playing with no sound. He cares nothing about football. I chatted a bit with the lady next to me but it just got awkward. Finally, I asked him if he wanted to go and he said he did. We stayed just over an hour total. As we were driving home I felt sad for him, and me. I want to be a normal couple that can go to a party and socialize with complete strangers.

I love that we are both handling our situation better but really, I just wanted to cry. I felt such emptiness afterwards. I am thankful that our friends understand and don’t get offended if we need to leave. But, it is hard not to compare my old life to my new life. I want it back sometimes. It isn’t fair that we have to stay home, or go to restaurants at slow times, or do the same things every weekend. I don’t want to go without him either but sometimes it is just easier.

These are what what low days look like.

Click here to see other blog posts from Cheryl Gansner.


From Cheryl Gansner's blog, Wife of a Wounded Soldier. Used with permission.

Cheryl GansnerCheryl Gansner, Cheryl Gansner is the wife of a severely injured soldier. In 2006, Bryan Gansner was hit by an IED that ripped his legs apart and left him with a TBI and PTSD. He nearly died. He spent 20 months in rehabilitation at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. The couple recently had their first child.

The contents of BrainLine Military (the “Web Site”), such as text, graphics, images, information obtained from the Web Site’s licensors and/or consultants, and other material contained on the Web Site (collectively, the “Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for medical, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Specifically, with regards to medical issues, always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Web Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. The Web Site does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Web Site. Reliance on any information provided by the Web Site or by employees, volunteers or contractors or others associated with the Web Site and/or other visitors to the Web Site is solely at your own risk.

Comments [1]

Cheryl, I know exactly how you feel. It has become a way of life to go on family outings to remote places, to do our shopping in the middle of the day and a smaller shopping centre, to knowing that we might not see the end of our sons football games, cause dad can't handle the crowds. I wish more people would understand.

Sep 19th, 2015 2:20am


BrainLine Footer

Javascript is disabled. Please be aware that some parts of the site may not function as expected!