Hey guys--It's Adam, and one of the things I hear a lot in the TBI community
is trouble finding a relationship, troubles finding a girl or a guy
after sustaining a traumatic brain injury,
whether it's combat-related or otherwise,
a lot of people feel differently about themselves.
They have different confidence levels.
One of the things that I really believe firmly in
is kind of phasing in that approach, going outside of your comfort level
to kind of force yourself to go out meet people,
make social interactions, go to places where you may feel uncomfortable
but are generally considered safe--
different social events, things like that.
A lot of times when you're in the military,
especially the United States Army, you're forced to go forward
and kind of push yourself to the limit, push yourself to the edge.
What that does is building your self-confidence.
It's building your organizational and emotional skills
to know that you can go forward and go past what you thought you could do
and really strive for success.
You've got to take those ambitions and that strategy
and apply it to your personal world.
So, maybe the goal is to get back to your old confident self,
where you could go out and meet people--meet a girl, meet a guy.
Really start--strike up a conversation and get a phone number out of it.
So, applying those same strategies--You're not going to do it overnight.
So, if your goal is to just back to normal,
you're going to want to start going slow.
So, start by going out--maybe that means going to a restaurant,
maybe it means going with your family or friends out to a movie
or to some kind of outdoor event.
Maybe it just means going for a walk in the park.
So, that's something that you've got to start off slow doing.
Over time, if you keep applying those principles
of pushing yourself to the edge and really going as far as you can
to maintain control of yourself, that's going to be the way that you're
eventually going to get back to your old confident self.
Who knows, you'll be in a relationship before you know it.
So, try it out and let's see how it goes--thanks!
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Having a brain injury can sometimes make people feel differently about themselves, perhaps less confident, which can make meeting people challenging. Adam recommends slowly pushing yourself to engage in social activities ... and gaining back some confidence.
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Adam! Wonderful. I am a social worker for the Army. I often wish I could address the general population (of females:) about being on the receiving end of what you suggest here. Thank you for starting here. I'll stay tuned and use these posts as a resource for my guys!
Sep 18th, 2012 7:14pm